At my home church, TCBC, I just found out a sister in Christ has passed away. Chino was a woman in the congregation who I only knew as the “girl in choir” when I was younger. She met Jim and got married and had a daughter. I knew Jim a lot better than her but she attended the church longer.
I have to admit I have always struggled in the process of grieving and mourning. I want to rest in the promises of God but at times it is hard. There’s so many questions, so many unanswered questions…
Why didn’t we as a church pray for her sooner? Could we have done more to pray and petition for her?
Why didn’t she share with us sooner?
How come the public/private sphere of our lives hinder us from caring and comforting each other?
Is gossip the reason for the lack of sharing?
Are we truly the body of Christ on earth loving and caring for the broken, the sick, the needy?
Why do you take away a mother of a newly grown family God?
How would I feel if Monica was sick? What would I do? Would I share? Would I feel like the church would be supportive or just a plain hinderance?
etc, etc, etc.
I probably offended some people with this blog… but I dunno, I just needed to say this. It’s odd that I went to Bob Kauflin’s website and bumped onto his blog about writing a song for a passing relative… Here’s a song that shows where all my hope and comfort comes from… God… and I hope this will bless you mourners out there too..
Jim, you and your family are in my prayers…
.
It Is Not Death To Die – George Bethune & Bob Kauflin
It is not death to die, to leave this weary road
And join the saints who dwell on high who’ve found their home with God
It is not death to close the eyes long dimmed by tears
And wake in joy before your throne delivered from our fears
O Jesus, King of grace
You bore the cross in our place
Though we suffer for a time
We will reign with you on high
And it is not death to die.
It is not death to fling aside this earthly dust
And rise with strong and noble wing to live among the just
It is not death to hear the key unlock the door
That sets us free from temporal years to praise you evermore.
O Jesus, King of grace
You bore the cross in our place
Though we suffer for a time
We will reign with you on high
And it is not death to die.
Copyright 2006 Sovereign Grace Praise.
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I think it’s a good thing to speak what you truly feel so as to be truthful and sincere in your self expression. For some, it is something that is more difficult to do than most other difficult things.
Some comments on your questions.
“Why didn’t we as a church pray for her sooner?Could we have done more to pray and petition for her?”
In my experience with the passing of an immediate family member, my family and I prayed regularly and fervently together for weeks and months and so did brothers and sisters in the church. However, history took it’s course as God would have it and our prayers were not answered. Nothing can contend with God’s will. Should we look back and say we didn’t pray enough? That we didn’t pray hard enough? What is hard enough? What is enough to say we couldn’t have done any more praying? When is praying for a reprieve from death a proper enough time to start and when is it not? Life and death are only God’s to give and take away. We don’t know why loved ones die untimely deaths and the untimelyness of deaths are relative to our perspectives. Who are we to know why God takes away life at that given time? We can only trust that God is in control of all things that he has his purpose for all that happens. I may have to wait until my death until I may know why my dad died when he did..and now Chino’s passing to add to my list of why’s.
Comment by Bamboostar October 24, 2006 @ 12:49 amthanks for your comment Jon. I think my blog wasn’t to question God so much (because I do acknowledge when people’s time come, they come), and it’s not so much to question the power of prayer… it was more to question and critique what’s going on with the church in this circumstance. Like my concerns aren’t solely that we started praying for Chino AS A CHURCH a year or two later AFTER she was diagnosed… but it’s a big part of it. For some reason the church isn’t a place where broken people are embraced… we exemplify that by being a church that tries to create a suburban atmosphere in an urban reality. I just feel like we have to change our church’s subculture be the church God is calling us to be. Loving the people around us and making sure the private vs personal melts away. Some can say that’s just my opinion, but I do think it’s more and more in line with the gospel.
Anyways,
Comment by shubox October 24, 2006 @ 1:41 pmpeace